I have no idea what this post is going to be about. It could be beautiful, it could be fucking awful. I’m pissed!For some reason, I’ve ended up listening to old songs by Carter USM. I was just listening to one called Do Re Me So Far So Good, which started with the line in the title here.
And now I’m listening to another song called The Impossible Dream.
And you could take any of those three titles and apply them to me, now. Have a good time all the time – well, that’s me to a tee. You only get one life – so bloody enjoy it (depression permitting, ha!) There might be an afterlife, but there’s probably not, so make the most of every second. Have fun. Dance like no-0ne’s watching. Yadda, yadda.
Do Re Me So Far So Good. Oh God, I can’t believe I’m analysing my life with the help of Carter!!! So yeah, I’m on a bit of a journey right now. And yeah, so far, so good. Well, apart from my soulmate killing me, but you can’t have it all. I have the best friends in the world. It’s all good. I do fear the future – I need to write about my thoughts on that, but sans-alcohol.
What was the other one? Oh yeah, the Impossible Dream. And that’s a bit how it feels right now. Referral to GIC in September 2015. Letters re: first appointment: nil. Non-binary… trans enough? Had DVT – issues? Too many acronyms.
Erm, bit drunk. It’s a Sunday night. Traditionally a school night. THE school night. It should involve an early bath followed by Last of the Summer Wine, Howard’s Way, Hale and Pace and that prick on the South Bank Show. But we’re all up to date now. 2017. Living alone. Bottle of Rioja turns into two bottles of Rioja.
Was working, but can’t do that anymore. Still, no double vision, so can still do the writey thing. Ha ha!
What am I doing? Why is this so hard? A couple of nights ago, I was binge-watching YouTube episodes by a trans girl called Charlie, aka A Girl for all Seasons. She’s a transwoman and she’s really something to aspire to. She takes the viewer through her life from the bad-wig early days to FFS and SRS, and she even races cars. She’s cool, beautiful and she knows what she wants.
And then there’s me. OK, most of my posts are pretty good usually – though clearly not tonight. Too much wine.
But the wine takes the pain away. Yesterday, I felt so depressed. Really, really down after the whole G episode. So I drink wine to take that feeling away. Everything’s soft and fuzzy. It’s nice.
I can’t keep this on forever, though. Must get back to my diet, my dance and my exercise. Jeez, my ballet leotard is gonna snap if I don’t.
Carter bloke (Jim Bob?) is singing: “You and whose army are gonna stop us now?”
Nobody’s gonna stop me now, apart from me. Must learn to not be so self-destructive.
Goodnight Great Britain, USA, world at large. Sweet dreams.