I never usually stay in touch with ex-girlfriends but, in the case of this one, I was always prepared to make an exception. We shared a house together and planned to spend the rest of our lives together. It didn’t work out, but I still hoped we could be friends because she’s awesome. Anyway, I saw her a couple of days ago.
Georgie is undoubtedly the best girlfriend I ever had. We may not have had loads in common, but there was always that spark between us and we could talk to each other for hours on end, never once running out of things to say.
If you wanna know all the whys and wherefores about we broke up, scroll back, it’s all in the blog. I don’t wanna go over it again in detail as it was the hardest break-up I’ve ever had to deal with, especially as we almost got back together and then didn’t! A tough old time.
Anyway, after much water had passed under the bridge, we met up the other night for dinner – the first time I’ve seen her since we tried the relationship counselling thing a year or so ago.
One reason we broke up was because Georgie could see that the pace was picking up on my transgender journey. I couldn’t really see it (or didn’t want to) back then – but, yeah, she was right.
Back then, I was adamant I was non-binary – and now I realise I’m probably gonna live as a transwoman full time before too long. I have evolved and continue to do so. I’m hanging on to that NB tag for now, though.
Georgie is straight – she likes men alone, not girls as well. So while she could cope with me in lacy knickers and nighties, the thought of me growing boobs scared the shit out of her. She’s straight – she’s never had the slightest sexual attraction to any women – so I get that.
So over dinner, we had a good chat about old times, about what she’s up to now and about this ‘ere journey of mine. I think even she was shocked about how far I’d come.
But not shocked in a negative way – she couldn’t have been more pleased for me. I didn’t turn up to the restaurant en femme as I know people there through work who only know me in bloke mode – but she would have been fine with it had I have done.
Maturity is a funny thing. You can be with a partner and think they’re really mature when you’re together, but then, when you break up with them, they can display an inordinate amount of immaturity, turning into a petulant four-year-old overnight.
I’ve been fortunate in most of my relationships that things have ended amicably. But we all know couples who have broken up, where one or both partners become incredibly bitter.
That leads to hurtful personal insults, stalking and unjust claims for material things – where a rage-filled ex will take their former lover “for every penny”.
We all know people like this. I guess I could understand such anger if one partner had done something awful, like cheating on the other.
But if the relationship has been a happy one and has just run it’s course, what is the point in being bitter and twisted? It’s wasted energy and gets nobody anywhere, just causing more upset than is necessary. I hope I never become like that.
Anyway, despite our break-up being impossibly hard (for both of us), Georgie and I never resorted to childishness.
And because we stayed adult throughout the break-up, even though we hadn’t been in contact for many months, it meant that we got on like a house on fire when we did eventually meet up again.
Georgie is really happy, and I’m so happy for her. She has a new fella, who sounds awesome, and he has two children, aged five and seven, whom she dotes on.
She’s really happy for me, too, and has promised to be there for me – we’re not going to leave it so long before meeting up again.
She also loves the idea of being a key figure in the book of my journey from boyhood to womanhood, out early next year.
There’s a lot to be said for maturity.